God used my engagement ring this week to show me a picture of myself. The diamond is beautiful. It’s sparkly and gorgeous but if you look closely, even with the naked eye you will see a black flaw running through the middle. It is inherently flawed - but it doesn’t mean I love it any less. I love its beauty and I love the relationship it represents.
As we’ve gone through Romans this week, I was reflecting about how we are all like this diamond. Flawed and tarnished with a black mark that can’t be removed. We can’t separate the flaw from ourselves, it’s at the core of who we are. Romans 3:10 speaks on how no one is righteous, not even one. We are all sinners, we are all fundamentally flawed and can not get away from the depravity of our condition.
But “while we were still sinners Christ died for us” (Rom 5:8), he declared us righteous (Rom 4:5) and we are “justified freely by his grace” (Rom 3:23). Six years ago I dropped my engagement ring in the ocean and it was found 20 hours later - after two tides had come and gone. I thought it was lost for good, buried too far down to be found again; but it was found. This is what Romans 5:8 feels like to me. I thought I was like the ring, too far gone, buried too deep, but while I was still stuck and dirty he found me and brought me home. He didn’t wait until I was clean to bring me home, He brought me home anyway and everyone celebrated. My value didn’t change because of where I was or what I did. I have inherent value. It makes me think of Psalm 139:7-12 too. We can’t flee from his Spirit, no matter where we go we are never too lost to be found.
God also reminded me that I just see myself as the black flaw. A dirty sinner who never measures up - someone who is not beautiful. Yet on the other hand, others often comment on or see me as beautiful but then overinflate the good things and overlook my flaws. Both are not helpful. He said to remember the both/and - I am both beautiful and deeply flawed. They are not mutually exclusive. “We are simultaneously justified and are sinners” - Michael Kirchdorfer. I spend so much time focusing on the black flaws yet Paul tells us in the past tense that we have died to sin (Rom 6:2). We don’t have to crucify our old self daily because it has already occurred once and for all (Rom 6:6-10). The presence of sin remains but its power has been broken.
This is where the sanctification process comes in. Romans 6:18 and 6:22 speak on being slaves to righteousness. As we freely choose to be a slave and surrender to God’s plans and the ways of Jesus we will be refined. The better a diamond is cut the more angles it will have and therefore the more light it will reflect. When we lean into the sanctification process and allow ourselves to be cut then cleansed and polished, the flaw will still be there, but it’ll become less visible as the glorious light is reflected in and through it. It is then that we can aim to be like the lamp Jesus talks about in Matthew 5:14-16 which shines before others so that they may glorify the Father.
We are all like my diamond - inherently flawed and beautiful because of who we reflect. If I’m honest, I know ‘what’ this means, but I don’t really know the ‘how’ of what it looks like to live this out in a normal week. I’m not very good at being nice to myself, so I’ll be praying into how God wants to change my behaviour to reflect this truth.